Deeper than my feet could ever wander

                  When we returned home that moment and the feelings I had refused to leave me. What I thought was perhaps residual compassion that would fade over time began to grow. It refused to be silenced or satisfied with just a check in the mail. I am not proud to admit this but I haven't ever even considered that we might adopt. I have seen firsthand how important genetics are and I have always had trouble believing that I could love a child that wasn't mine. My stance has been pretty clear from the beginning. I always read the verse in James and told myself that it didn't specify how we are to take care of the orphans and widows and sending money or food was just as well.

Until now...

The whole time I was in Nicaragua while we were walking on trails or riding in a truck a song I heard right before I left kept playing in my head:

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders

Let me walk upon the waters

wherever you would call me

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander

and my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior

I will call upon your name

keep  my eyes above the waves

my soul will rest in your embrace

I am yours

and you are mine

 

- "Oceans"- Hillsong United

 

 

My feet would never have even began to walk in this direction without the voice of the Holy Spirit.

I finally decided to google "adopting from Nicaragua" just for fun. I read for about an hour and realized how completely ridiculous I must have been for thinking that God would ever want me to do something that hard. Mounds of translated paper work, no pictures of children would ever be shown, and the kicker, you have to live there for a three month fostering period. Well, that was fun while it lasted.. the end.

The very next day I was looking for a local church that might be hosting a conference I wanted to attend. We live in the middle of nowhere so I thought there was a slim to none chance of finding one, but I did. In Dayton, TN, the closest town to us. I clicked on the link and started investigating this church and though I was just looking to attend the conference, I thought the church looked really good. I was browsing their site which is pretty simple really and I clicked on the missions tab at the top and in big bright letters it said NICARAGUA.

Right after I had just given up the night before.

Of all of the options of churches and of all of the focuses on missions to choose from, God led me directly to this ONE??!!

When I mentioned the possibility of adopting to my other half he said that he thought it was great. Even after I told him how hard it was and all of the things we would have to do, he still agreed. He told me that after knowing me for this long if I was willing to do this then it must be from God.

So the adventure of trusting and obeying begins.