Deeper than my feet could ever wander

                  When we returned home that moment and the feelings I had refused to leave me. What I thought was perhaps residual compassion that would fade over time began to grow. It refused to be silenced or satisfied with just a check in the mail. I am not proud to admit this but I haven't ever even considered that we might adopt. I have seen firsthand how important genetics are and I have always had trouble believing that I could love a child that wasn't mine. My stance has been pretty clear from the beginning. I always read the verse in James and told myself that it didn't specify how we are to take care of the orphans and widows and sending money or food was just as well.

Until now...

The whole time I was in Nicaragua while we were walking on trails or riding in a truck a song I heard right before I left kept playing in my head:

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders

Let me walk upon the waters

wherever you would call me

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander

and my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior

I will call upon your name

keep  my eyes above the waves

my soul will rest in your embrace

I am yours

and you are mine

 

- "Oceans"- Hillsong United

 

 

My feet would never have even began to walk in this direction without the voice of the Holy Spirit.

I finally decided to google "adopting from Nicaragua" just for fun. I read for about an hour and realized how completely ridiculous I must have been for thinking that God would ever want me to do something that hard. Mounds of translated paper work, no pictures of children would ever be shown, and the kicker, you have to live there for a three month fostering period. Well, that was fun while it lasted.. the end.

The very next day I was looking for a local church that might be hosting a conference I wanted to attend. We live in the middle of nowhere so I thought there was a slim to none chance of finding one, but I did. In Dayton, TN, the closest town to us. I clicked on the link and started investigating this church and though I was just looking to attend the conference, I thought the church looked really good. I was browsing their site which is pretty simple really and I clicked on the missions tab at the top and in big bright letters it said NICARAGUA.

Right after I had just given up the night before.

Of all of the options of churches and of all of the focuses on missions to choose from, God led me directly to this ONE??!!

When I mentioned the possibility of adopting to my other half he said that he thought it was great. Even after I told him how hard it was and all of the things we would have to do, he still agreed. He told me that after knowing me for this long if I was willing to do this then it must be from God.

So the adventure of trusting and obeying begins.



Nicaragua

  I found an organic farm where we could stay and learn all sorts of things with the main draw being a cook. You haven't ever really been on a vacation until someone cooks all of your meals for you. Despite the many luxuries, this was by far the most spiritually, physically, and emotionally intense trip I have ever been on in my life.

After our driver picked us up I asked if there were any orphanages in the area because we wanted to stop in and see if there were any specific needs that we might be able to meet while we were there. Alberto then proceeded to tell me that we were going to go by one in about thirty minutes if we wanted to stop in and Damien and I both agreed. He translated for us while we had a long conversation with the director. We were able to see that the kids were very well taken care of as there were about 5-6 in small homes with a caretaker. While we were walking around we didn't see many of the kids because they weren't out of school yet.
 As we were about to leave three young little girls came up to me. One of them grabbed my hand and so I knelt down and then another put her hand on my face. They were asking me my name and how I was and I was in turn asking them and telling them how beautiful they were in Spanish. It was as if time was standing still for those few minutes. I cannot put into words what happened to me at that moment but I know without a doubt that I had an encounter with God that I still haven't gotten over. I actually thought to myself maybe this is what Moses felt like when He encountered God in the burning bush only for me it was in the eyes of these little Nicaraguan girls.

Surprise calling

When I decided to call this blog Stacked Stones I did so because I wanted to use this avenue to remember all of the ways that God shows up.

 

 How awesome would it be if we wrote down even the smallest details of our lives that God orchestrates so that when we are in the valley that is sure to come we can remember and dwell on His faithfulness.



Once every year or so my husband and I try to take a trip together, which I advise everyone to do if at all possible, because in the end it will just be the two of us that remain. I have always loved traveling and for me it is much more about the experience than the destination. So we usually go to off the beaten path places that no one has heard of. For this last trip I was bone tired and honestly I just wanted to go and lay on the beach and have someone bring me margaritas while I read some mindless books. We watched an episode of House Hunters International and they were in San Juan Del Sur, Nicaragua. We both thought it looked like a cool little town but didn't think anything else of it. Then the next day I was reading the blog of someone I follow and she had a guest post from a missionary in Nicaragua. I just thought hmmm that's cool we just saw something about Nicaragua last night. The following day I was picking up one of my husband's shirts off of the floor while he was in the shower. I have never done this a day in my life but for whatever reason I looked at the tag in his shirt and low and behold it said "Made in Nicaragua". He got out of the shower to find me next to a stack of all of the shirts from his drawer and since he is a bit of a shirt connoisseur there were quite a few (like over 30).

There wasn't one other shirt in that stack that was made in Nicaragua.

 I just looked at him and said I don't know why but I think God is telling us to go to Nicaragua.

Lord have Mercy on my soul, the love of my life looked back at me and said, "Let's go."